I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
