don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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