You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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