i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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