Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
