Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize