What a fucking waste of an outfit
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
