in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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