i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
