K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
