The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize