He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
