Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
