Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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