He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Semen is not good for contacts.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
