By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
