I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
