oh fat girl friday strikes again...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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