I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
