how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
porn star boner night. come get it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
