Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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