Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
