sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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