I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
