i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
pray to the hookup gods
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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