2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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