the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
