i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
