Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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