I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
