Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
