it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
