I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
