But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize