Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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