i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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