I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
