Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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