i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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