I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
