is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
