All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize