i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i out mim tonsoeep
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
