well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
