If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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