i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
