craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
