if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he fucked my hip out of place.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is it penis luge time yet?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
