Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
