I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize