just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
