I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
