so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize