Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
