I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
