That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
