Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
