If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
