im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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