And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
