You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
